Lost in the Night
by Dreaming in Shadow
Summary: He has no memories of his past, but Kaname is certain of two things. One: He's being haunted. Two: He must be a masochist. How else could he be falling in love with a man who hates him? Why does he hate him, and who is the crying woman in his dreams? ZxK
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer** - I do not own Vampire Knight, nor any of its characters. All rights belong to VK's original creator Matsuri Hino, who is truly a goddess amongst women for the fine men she has provided us with. No profit can or shall be made from this fan fiction. Any original characters or plots that occur in any of my fics, do, however, belong to me.

**Pairings **- ZeroxKaname / (maybe) KanamexZero | ZeroxYuuki | YuukixKaname | and others

**Authour's Notes -** I'm a bit worried about this fic. I don't want to accidentally turn Kaname into a male version of Yuuki... :S

I dunno, it's a little early to say, but feel free to let me know your viewpoint as the readers. Zero is also a little rough with Kaname, (no, not in that way, you pervs! lol ...not yet, anyways!) but I hope you can forgive him, he has his reasons, poor bastard...

Everybody's probably guessed by now, but the main plot idea is that Yuuki made Kaname human and tasked Zero with looking over him. Thus endeth the plot spoilers. (I haven't even decided who the villain is yet...-_-;;)

Enjoy! (I hope!)

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**Lost in the Night**

**-Chapter One-**

**~Prologue~**

Rain cascaded down the windowpane like some kind of bizarre waterfall, making the glass look like it was melting. Beyond the glass the world was a blurred mass of grey. Sighing heavily, Kaname placed his book on the windowsill and rested his forehead against the cool glass. The weather, it seemed, shared his dismal mood.

He was exhausted beyond belief, but he couldn't sleep. If he slept he'd either see _her_ again, which was something he didn't really want to do, or he'd have nightmares. Or worse, he'd have one of _those_ dreams. On the other hand, he couldn't keep himself awake either. He'd read every book in the house, from a collection of children's books (whatever they were doing in Cross' room, he'd never guess) to the dictionary. And one could only gain so much amusement from playing chess alone.

Tea. Sweet tea was the answer, he decided. It was probably the best way to stay awake for the remainder of the night, considering it was five in the morning by now.

Sighing again, the brunette moved away from his perch on the armchair by the window and began his journey to the kitchen. At the top of the stairs, however, he hesitated. The bottom of the stairs was flooded with dim yellow lamplight, and hushed muttering lingered on the edge of his hearing.

Kaname griped the banister nervously, debating whether or not to return to his room. In the end however, he decided to continue. What was there to be afraid of anyway? It was probably just Cross on the phone, talking some poor unfortunate's ear off. Kaname knew the man had a good heart, but he was ever so _slightly_ annoying.

When he got to the doorway however, he froze.

'Kiryuu-sama?' As soon as the words left his lips, the brunette groaned internally. _Idiot!_ he thought as a pair of cold lavender eyes bored into him.

'Kaname-kun! I didn't know you were awake!' cried Kaien, smiling as he looked up at the brunette from his seat at the kitchen table. The man's smile looked forced, however, as his soft golden eyes darted nervously between the two boys, as though he hoped that by forcing himself to smile the dark aura that Zero was exuding would vanish.

He had no such luck.

'I... I've been awake all night,' confessed Kaname, pulling his gaze away from Zero's angry lavender eyes. 'I can't sleep.'

'Oh? Then why don't I make us all some tea and-'

'No,' interrupted Zero. The hunter's tone was cold and clipped as he spoke. 'We can continue this talk later. I'm leaving,' he said, standing up. Kaname fixed his gaze on the floor tiles as the hunter spoke, trying to ignore the horrible feeling of his heart sinking.

'Oh,' was all he could say, before he felt the hunter shove him aside roughly, making the brunette collide violently with the doorframe before collapsing onto the icy ceramic tiles. Kaname ducked his head in humiliation as arousal shot through him - a result of the sharp, aching pain blossoming where his side had connected with the doorframe... and the burning sensation where Zero's arm had touched him.

'Zero!' cried Kaien, as the silver haired teen stormed out of the house. Frowning, he rushed to Kaname's side. 'Kaname, are you alright?'

'I'm fine... It's perfectly alright...' he said quietly.

'No, it isn't! There was no need for Zero to act like that!' argued the ex-hunter.

'...isn't there? Why else would he hate me so? Kiryuu-sam- I mean, Kiryuu-san - saved me from that fire, but every time he looks at me...' Kaname trailed off. _It seems like he blames me for something. Like I've taken something precious from him..._

Zero Kiryuu had saved him from the burning wreckage of some kind of mansion up in the mountain ranges. The first thing Kaname remembered was opening his eyes and seeing the hunter walking towards him, fire blazing behind him. The vampire hunter had picked him up off of the floor and held him in his arms with an almost reluctant gentleness. When he'd been on the brink of death from injuries and poisoning sustained in the fire, the vampire had fed him his blood as a medicine. Then he'd brought him to Kaien Cross. Kaname wondered sometimes how he must have looked. This half-dead, battered young man with the world knowledge of a newborn baby.

Nonetheless, Kaien had taken him in and given him a home and a name; Kaname (because it was a pretty name apparently, which made the brunette wonder if the man had thought he was a girl.) Cross had taught him everything, with limitless patience, constantly claiming Kaname was "so cute" when he was proud of himself. The brunette had learnt to close his eyes and count to ten when dealing with this. Kaien simply didn't seem to understand that he'd outgrown his child mentality four months ago.

...Kiryuu-sama, on the other hand shunned him. Ironically, the first thing Kaname learnt about himself was that he was masochistic. The more the hunter hurt him, the more Kaname wanted Zero to care about him. Gratitude towards his saviour had quickly deepened into something much more powerful... Infatuation, he had called it. It was just an infatuation... nothing... more...

_Kiryuu-sama_... Zero clearly detested the title, but Kaname couldn't help but apply it to the hunter. It just seemed appropriate for some reason. ..._sama_... it rang a chord deep inside his mind. A warm memory, just out of reach.

Kaname sighed. 'He hates me, Cross-san... but I can't remember why.' _But I know I have hurt him. Because on that night last year, I saw a wetness on his cheeks that seemed at first to be sweat from the heat. But when I looked into his eyes... I was wrong... they were tears... tears..._

Kaien pushed his glasses back up his nose and sighed as he watched the former-pureblood hang his head miserably. Fate had a cruel sense of humour, that much the ex-hunter understood, but to have Kaname loose his memories and fall in love with his ex-love rival...?

The ex-hunter sighed again. _Oh, Yuuki... what would you say if you could see them now?_

**X-X-X**

Zero sat on the edge of his bed, glaring at the wooden floorboards of his worn down apartment.

He couldn't take it anymore! He was sick of fate trying to fuck with his head. Fate was mocking him, it must be! To see _him_ staring at him with those eyes... Soft, warm chocolate eyes that seemed to shine with innocence and seemed constantly surprised about something or other...

And then... then he had to go and say _that!_ "Kiryuu-_sama_."

For a moment when he gazed into that doorway it had been someone else standing there. Her big brown eyes wide in surprise as she realised who was at the table.

_"Kaname-sama!_"

Zero blinked in surprise as he felt a warm wetness rolling down his cheeks. Reaching for his neck, he wrapped a hand around the necklace at his neck and tugged it off, staring numbly at the pendant in his hand.

It was a fang.

A vampire's fang.

A pureblood's fang.

It was _her_ fang.

_"...I-if the time comes, use it... on... h-him..." Her voice had been broken as her voice hitched with sobs of misery and pain. Blood streamed past her lips as she spoke - a result of her ripping out one of her own fangs... and more. "I-I l-love you... Z-Zero..." she whispered, tears running down her beautiful, deathly pale face. "...f-forgive m-me..."_

_And another voice from years ago, whispering that awful truth to him; "You will not betray her."_

A violent sob shook the hunters shoulder as the memories ran through his head. Her last words... her last wish...

Even after her death he would not betray her. Because he owed her that much... because he loved her...

_I love you, Yuuki... forgive me..._


	2. Naught but Tears

**Author's Notes -** God, it's weird writing the word human in conjunction with Kaname...

And I can't help but feel this plotline is swiftly becoming ironic when you consider canon VK...

Thanks to everybody who reviewed, faved and alerted! (And those who may be following who did not review...)

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**Lost in the Night**

**-Chapter Two-**

**~Naught but Tears~**

Kaien sighed heavily as he read the newspaper headline, which screamed in bold black writing; "Sixteen disappear in a single area - presumed dead". The ex-hunter promptly dropped said newspaper. He didn't need to look through it to know what the other headlines told him. "_Missing." "Found dead." "No blood left in corpse_."

He looked up and was unsurprised to see Zero looking at him expectantly.

'They're building an army,' the hunter stated bluntly, convinced with his own logic.

'We don't know that, Zero. It might just be-'

'They are building a friggin' army, Chairman.' The younger hunter watched impassively as his guardian's lips tightened into a thin line.

'I'm not the Chairman, Zero. Not anymore. After all,' he grimaced as he spoke. 'There would have to be something for me to be Chairman of.'

After the death of the pureblood princess Yuuki Kuran, and the presumed death of her brother and fiancé Kaname Kuran, there was no longer anybody left to support the co-existence scheme, and quickly the idea fell through altogether. It was decided by the re-established Senate that they had taken after their parents, and "tragically" took their own lives. As a result, Cross Academy was shut down and purebloods were placed under greater "safety precautions". The vampires did still maintain their treaty with the humans, but as human numbers began to dwindle, the relationship between the two races worsened.

The aristocrats that had once been a part of the Kuran's inner circle had been arrested under suspicion of murder, one or two were presumed dead and according to rumour one had been cleared and released. One was under custody of pureblood vampire Sara Shirabuki.

Glancing around, Kaien had to wonder why in order to make important decisions that would affect all their lives, they had to do so in a dingy, run down little café. Still, it was quite crowded inside, and the noise and… unpleasant odours would keep any vampires away.

He picked at a layer of grime on the rim of his mug of (yet untouched) coffee. …Or what he was told was coffee, anyway. Not even his cooking was this bad.

The two men sat in silence for a while before Kaien spoke up again. 'You're certain she said she was coming?'

'Yeah,' said Zero, glaring darkly at nothing in particular. As the words left his mouth, the two hunters felt the familiar aura of a vampire brush their consciousness. Glancing up, Kaien spotted a familiar young woman walking towards them, a perpetually irritated expression on her face as she tucked a lock of silky blonde waves behind her ear.

There were probably many reasons for her irritation. For starters she was outside in broad daylight surrounded by noise and disruption she probably hadn't seen for ages, since she'd been imprisoned in her own home. Of course, another source of irritation for her might just be her grimy surroundings that she had to wear trainers, worn jeans and a baggy t-shirt. _Honestly!_

The former chairman smiled faintly as she made her way over to them. 'It's nice to see you again, Ruka-chan.'

Ruka Souen's lips twitched slightly at the corners, which was the closest thing she could probably get to a smile in current circumstances. As the muscles of her face shifted, Kaien couldn't help but notice with a frown the fading scars littered about her face.

'I see you at least made an effort to seem inconspicuous, Souen-san,' said Zero. His expression and tone remained unreadable, but Ruka shot a glare at the hunter as if he were clearly implying otherwise.

'Unlike you, Kiryuu-san. You're far too tense to seem natural, particularly with that predatory aura you're exuding,' she sneered. She had just lived through eight months of pure hell, being tortured and maimed _in her own home_. She hadn't seen Hanabusa or anybody else for seven of those months and Akatsuki... She was becoming increasingly worried for him. When she had last seen him... A shudder ran down her spine at the thought.

_At least he's probably better off than Seiren._ Thinking about Seiren and what happened to her made her sick, particularly when her thoughts moved on to Hanabusa. Seiren had reacted violently when they had insulted her with suggestions of her role in the Kuran's deaths, and when they started to question her about the Kuran's affairs...

They were still cleaning that room. Thank God vampires deteriorated after death, because Ruka didn't want to know what they did to Seiren before her death.

_Please, please, if there is a higher power, don't let Hanabusa die like Seiren did.._.

_...don't let anybody else die like Yuuki Kuran and..._ Ruka felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes at the thought of Kaname-sama. Perhaps that was why she was so angry with Kiryuu. The way he sat there, his eyes and words giving away nothing of his thoughts... it reminded her so much of Kaname.

The noble woman blinked as she saw something with pink floral patterns dance in front of her face. Blinking again she realised it was a handkerchief. Kaien Cross' handkerchief.

She was crying.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Ruka accepted the proffered cloth with an attempt at a polite smile of gratitude. It came out a shaky grimace instead, as soft sobs began to shake her somewhat frail body.

This was ridiculous! She had already spent an entire month crying her heart out. She should be working on saving her friends, not wallowing in self-pity like a weak human girl!

_Kaname-sama would have gotten it done._

Ruka felt her resolve harden as that thought entered her mind. Sitting up straight she faced the two hunter's watching her, her normally soft caramel eyes steely.

'You asked me here to discuss whatever I've learnt about the Senate's plans, am I right?' she asked.

Had Ruka been anything other than a vampire, Zero would have acknowledged the flicker of respect that formed within him. Kaien, on the other hand wasn't as prejudiced against vampires and openly acknowledged his respect, smiling encouragingly at the young blonde woman. He almost wished he could tell her about Kaname, but it was currently too risky to breathe a word to anybody. The only people who knew the former-pureblood's secret were himself and Zero, and for now that was how it had to remain.

'Let's start with…'

|**X-X-X**|

'_Who are you…?__'__ he called out into the fog. __'__Where are you, what are you, and what do you want with me?__'_

What do you want with me?_ It sounded like a line from a clichéd horror film. But standing outside with the icy winter wind roaring in his ears, blasting him with a flurry of snow while he struggled in vain to see through the thick white fog around him - he felt like he was in one._

_It seemed like reality, the bite of the frozen gale was evidence enough of that, but he was dreaming, he knew that much. Just like he knew he__'__d stand out here screaming for something to show itself until he'd hear the sound of..._

Sobbing_._

_Somebody was crying, a woman. He could hear the soft hitching of her breath. Turning on his heel he looked behind him, and felt the familiar sensation of his heart skipping a beat._

_He knew she'd be there. She was _always_ there. Whenever he slept or closed his eyes, she'd be there at the back of his mind, shrouded in fog. Like an important memory he'd forgotten..._

She_ stood there, a black silhouette in the vast white, watching him. He couldn't see her eyes, but he could _feel_ them burning into his soul with the misery and longing. _

_His heart beat erratically in his chest, but not from fear. No. Never fear. He knew instinctively he'd never fear this woman, whoever or whatever she was..._

_'Kaname...' Her voice was a distorted whisper, he couldn't hear her voice as she spoke, but he recognized it somehow. Like some kind of pseudo-logic that he couldn't possibly begin to understand._

_He reached out to her, walking forwards. At the same moment she lifted her arm, her hand reaching out for him. As he approached her the fog thinned, and things became clearer. Memories and knowledge that danced on the edge of his memories edged closer._

_This woman... her name, her significance... it was all becoming clearer..._

_Then he saw her face. A heart-breaking, yet unbelievably tender smile spread across her features._

_Twin trails of crimson liquid tracked down her cheeks._

_Tears of blood..._

_'Sleep a little longer yet...' she whispered, still smiling sadly._

Kaname woke up with a small scream, sitting bolt upright with his arm outstretched. The human blinked for a moment, wondering why the room seemed to be blurring. Then he noticed the warm tears running down his cheeks.

_Damn it!_ He'd fallen asleep again... and Kaien had asked him to do the grocery shopping as well.

Sighing he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the sofa, glancing around blearily in his search for the clock.

She said the same things every night, and he woke up with the same reaction. He'd woken up from almost every dream like this crying like his heart was breaking - which is what it felt like. Actually he woke up from all his dreams and started crying, humiliating though it was.

_"Sleep a little longer yet..."_ Did the woman in his dreams have something to do with his lost memories? And Kiryuu-sama?

Kaname blushed as he realised that once again he had called Zero, "Kiryuu-sama" in his head.

Before he could think any further on the matter he head the clicking of the front door, followed by Kaien's voice.

'I'll go and sort the paperwork. You could wait in the living room, if you want.'

Before Kaname could react, the living room door swung open, revealing a tall blonde woman. Brown eyes met gold, and the woman's eyes widened almost comically in shock.

Kaname, unsure what to make of the woman's reaction, decided that being polite was probably the best course of action at the moment. 'Good evening,' he said.

The woman screamed.


	3. Realisation

**Author's Notes** – Good news, everyone! :)

I just sold Planet Express to Mom-

Oh, wait. That's a Futurama quote. *ahem*

Good news!

I finally gave my muse a good kick up the arse, and managed to scrape together enough inspiration to re-write chapter 3! (Yay) Helped partly by the song "Cum Junkie" (yes, I know. But very ZeKa/KaZe inspirational.) and the original Yu-Gi-Oh theme tune (don't ask.)

This isn't very good, there should be so much more in this chapter... but I decided to at least update with a little chapter to prove I haven't given up. *sigh*

Thank you to everybody who reviewed, faved and alerted. e.t.c.

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_Long, elegant fingers trailed idly through a head of silky blonde hair, stroking it in an almost mockingly gently manner, the owner of the fingers humming in an angelic, yet childish manner, blue eyes unfocused as they stared at nothing._

_Suddenly the figure cocked their head to one side, an amused smile curling on their soft sweet lips._

_'He's alive then, is he? It is nice not to be disappointed. Aren't you happy now?' That final question was directed at the second person whose head was resting on the speaker's lap. For a moment the duo sat in silence, before the speaker finally tired of waiting for an answer. 'Tsk, sulk then. _I'm_ pleased._

_'After all, this is a wonderful advantage.'_

**愛**

Kaname's breath escaped in a hiss of annoyance as he glared at the closed kitchen door, straining his ears to hear the muffled whispers and mutters that came from within.

Unfortunately that had become much harder since the strange woman had apparently calmed down. Only moments ago she had been in hysterics, shrieking quite audibly about how she thought "he was dead", and "what kind of sick games do you bastards think your playing", "why the hell didn't you tell me".

Over all, Kaname found that it was pretty damn obvious he was being left out of something important. If her reaction was anything to go by, the "he" she thought had been dead was him. Which meant that she knew him prior to his amnesia, and from her behaviour, had cared rather deeply.

So why in _hell _had he simply been told to sit outside and wait like an ignorant child while the "grown-ups were talking".

Almost as soon as the woman had started screaming, Zero had grabbed her by the arm and half-dragged, half-carried her away, shooting Kaname an almost accusatory look

Angry and confused, the brunette gritted his teeth as he continued to glare at the door, as though hoping he could knock it down with the intensity of his gaze. _Screw this,_ he decided, getting to his feet. He was going to go outside and get some fresh air to clear his head, and then when he came back, he was getting some damn answers.

Kaname barely noticed his surroundings as he made his way through the hall in the brisk walk of one who is currently consumed in their own rage-filled thoughts. Irritation and alienation seemed like a thick, inpenetrable fog surrounding his mind; hot, heavy and thoroughly unpleasant. So when he stepped through the front door and into the cool, refreshing evening air, a blast of cold air seeming to blow away the angry haze in his head.

Sighing, the brunette ducked down, seating himself on the stone door-step, ignoring the way the stone seemed to radiate cold. The icy temperature seeping through his clothes and biting into his flesh, quickly making him feel uncomfortably numb.

Now with a slightly clearer head, he turned his thoughts back to recent developments.

He didn't know anything about his past before being saved from that burning mansion, not even the slightest fragment of a memory remained of his previous life. Trying to focus on them was like stumbling around in a vacuum. No light, no boundaries, nothing.

The only thing that came to mind that could possibly be related to his past was those bizarre nightmares that haunted his sleep. The woman in the blizzard.

Kaien had discouraged him from focusing too much on his forgotten past, waving the issue away carelessly and insisting that he ought to look to the future instead of worrying about things that can't be changed, let alone remembered.

Then that strange woman had shown up, the one who seemed to recognise him... and thought him dead. The only person he'd encountered who could possibly be linked to his past-

_No._ Something clicked in his mind, as Kaname suddenly realised something that should have been so blatantly obvious to him. _Kaien and Zero knew him._

Zero had so conveniently been present when he'd woken up in a death-trap of a building.

Kaien had readily taken him in, without a single protest about housing a complete stranger...

...and this woman had certainly implied as much... Which meant...

They were keeping his past away from him on purpose.

* * *

Ack. I don't like this chapter! I don't know it just doesn't seem to flow right... It... aghhhh...

…putting Ruka in the story this early was a mistake. The plot's advanced way too fast. :\

Ugh. Now I have to find a way of shoving Kaname and Zero together that won't involve putting Kaname a "damsel in distress"-esque situation...

...unless...

...oooooh...! ¬¬ *evil-plan-in-progress*


End file.
